'It takes a village': Entitled woman lists neighbor as her son's emergency contact without permission and threatens to end their sons' friendship when neighbor confronts her, after receiving multiple surprise calls from his school

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Sep 29, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

You can make eye contact with someone passing by on the street, yet you do not get down on one knee and propose to them. You can help an elderly lady cross the street, yet you do not sign a contract to become their full-time caregiver. So why in the world would this mother make her neighbor the emergency contact for her disabled child, simply because their children have played together once or twice…? It's all just a bit bizarre.

This mother is met with equal amounts of confusion and surprise when she suddenly receives multiple phone calls from a school regarding a young boy's issues… However, it's not regarding her son, but her neighbor's 7-year-old child. After trying to understand why in the world they were calling her, the school secretary explained that she had been listed as his emergency contact. When confronting his mother next door, she demands that she help her, claiming it 'takes a village to raise a child!' Well, lady, whether it takes one person or a thousand people, that does not mean you can randomly make people responsible for your children without their permission.
 

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  • Sure, it's polite to help out around the neighborhood. Carrying a few of the pregnant neighbor's groceries inside, offering to create a street lift-scheme for kids in the area…But making your neighbor your child's emergency contact without letting them know is a little extreme. Whether they are a stay-at-home parent or not, that doesn't give you free access to pick and choose when and how they'll be able to lend you a helping hand, especially without communicating first!

  • 01
    Stressed woman on the phone
    via africa-images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA for requesting not to be an emergency contact for neighbor’s son?

    I'm 33F, and live in a flat with my son I'm calling S, 5 years old.
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 03
    He recently made friends with the boy who lives above us, M who is 7 y/o.
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 04
    Both kids go to the same school, but are in separate playgrounds based on their classes.
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 05
    M has cerebral palsy, walks with a slight limp and has speech issues. They've bonded over a love of Spider-Man, get on great and play together at least twice a week in the shared back garden.
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 06
    I've only ever met M's mum, and I'm usually in the veranda when the boys are playing together but she's never really around for some reason.
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 07
    Few weeks ago, M fell on the concrete path in the garden. I jumped the veranda to help him get up on his feet and took him home.
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 08
    kids playing outside
    via sydaproductions

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    His mum seemed grateful and thanked me, but I haven't spoken to her since then. Cut to three days ago (Wednesday), M has a fall in school and to my absolute surprise - they call me.
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 10
    I'm at first confused as to why they're even calling me? I barely know him and his family, at most our conversations are quick hellos in the stairwell and that's it.
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 11
    The school said M's mum had answered their call, couldn't pick him up because she was in another city but told them to call me and to add me as an emergency contact.
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 12
    In their words, she said I "just work from home and have plenty of time to help her out".
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 13
    I said I couldn't drop what I was doing and to call her back. They then tried to call me 20 minutes later but I ignored it because I was on call with work and honestly if it's about my son they'd call his dad, so I knew it wasn't about him.
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 14
    The day after this (Thursday) they called me at the kids lunch time to tell me he was sent to school without his lunch, and that his mum is still saying to call me.
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 15
    Secretary making a phone call
    via gettyimages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    Yesterday (Friday) they called me to say he's had an accident and needs spare trousers. Later on last night she came to my door and gave me a big speech about "it takes a village" and how I work for the NHS so I was the perfect pick for an emergency contact.
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 17
    I told her I do admin for the NHS I'm not frontlines, so maybe that was confusing her?
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 18
    But she said she has absolutely no one to help with this. I've told her I'm uncomfortable with the whole thing?
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 19
    It's not my job to change her child from urine covered clothes or to provide him with lunch, she's taken great offence to this and today wouldn't let her kid play with S.
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 20
    Her daughter came down and I could hear her say "mum said you're not allowed to play with him anymore" and took M upstairs, causing S to become upset.
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 21
    So if this is a thing I need to s k up to keep my kid happy, please let me know.
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 22
    TLDR: AITA for not allowing neighbour to register me as emergency contact for her son with disability, as she's now preventing our kids from playing together causing my son to be upset.
    via Big_Letterhead7806
  • 23
    No_Magazine_2019 NTA. You're not this woman's backup parent just because you're around. Emergency contact is for people you've agreed with, not forced on you. Its_ks she's punishing your son, but her weaponizing the kids is on her, not you.
    via No_Magazine_2019
  • 24
    teresajs ΝΤΑ Contact the school and reiterate that you aren't M's family member, that you never agreed to be an emergency contact for M, and that they need to remove your name from his files and stop contacting you during your work hours for M.
    via teresajs
  • 25
    RedHot-Lips NTA - She didn't ask for help - she assigned you a job. Being an emergency contact means responsibility, liability and time, not "you work from home so you'll handle it." Helping once doesn't make you her backup parent. And refusing to be used isn't cruelty — cutting off - the kids over it proves she's not looking for a village, she's looking for a replacement.
    via RedHot-Lips
  • 26
    Lostinhighweeds I am an emergency contact for my neighbors children if they cannot reach the mom or dad. BUT I was asked before she gave the school my name and number. I am also rwtired. It would be one thing if she had asked in advance and IF this did not seem to be a regular occurrence. ΝΤΑ.
    via Lostinhighweeds
  • 27
    swishcandot Your kid will be sad for a minute but honestly you want no part of that family. NTA
    via swishcandot

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responsibility neighbors school mothers neighborhood emergency contact sons askreddit neighborhood-drama neighborhood-stories horrible-neighbors tension entitled calling entitled people
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